The Butterfly's Avatar
by Ch4rl13Sm1th
Summary: Based off of the comic from NaptillMorning. The concept for akumatized Adrien is beautiful. This is following the story Ashes, Ashes from AZapofInspiration


_Listen_.

I won't.

 _Listen to me._

I won't.

 _..._  
 _I know you hear me. I know you feel hurt. Deceived. Betrayed. By your own father, who has become a mystery to you since the disappearance of your mother. I feel your love for her, I feel the pain you bury. You cannot hide your feelings from me, though I know you hide them from yourself._

 _I have a proposal. I can show you what your father has been up to, what he hides from you. You can play a role in something larger than this. You can be more than a shadow to your father, more than a shadow to Ladybug. Do you accept?_

 _I feel your response. You don't want to feel anymore. I can make that happen._

 _The miraculous- it is your father who needs it._

The smoke cleared away. He felt hollow, sustained by the echo within him. Was that Papillon's voice? The echoes were all that remained of the emotions that no longer burdened him as large lumps in his throat and stomach. The echoes were light, free, fluttering within like butterflies, or moths. He felt delicate as china.

 _The heaviness you've felt inside, you are freed from it. And you can make others understand the burden you've felt as if they can feel it themselves. You can make them understand. You can show them the crippling depression you've been fighting._

"Maybe I can speak to my father. Maybe we can settle this finally." Was that hope? His mind shunned it as a fissure formed around his eye. He heard the crackling of porcelain.

 _Not yet. I will bring you to him when you have the miraculous in hand._

"Yes, Papillon." Papa..

Ladybug... the one person he had been closest to, who he had revered as an equal, remained a mystery to him. She refused to share her identity, and refused to let him make himself known, even to her. If he were gone tomorrow, what would she know of him?... ~ _why wait until tomorrow_ ~ a whisper echoed.

He stepped out onto the front steps of the mansion. No one stopped him, in fact no one was in sight. The front gate swung open expectantly. The breeze picked up his scarf, which was slow to respond to the environment, as though he were from a different place, projected into the sunlight of Paris. Though his face was porcelain, it did not sparkle in the light. The light did not touch him. He cast no shadow. He stepped forward, but his steps were out of sync with the ground, his feet not touching the pavement, as if he were traversing a different plane.

Where would he go to meet Ladybug?

~ _The graveyard_ ~ he heard an echo. ~ _teach her how you feel, make her understand, she did this to you, she left you in the dust, you've been collecting dust_ ~

He made his way down a familiar path.

Down the street a ways two girls stepped out of a boutique. "Adri-kins!" He was physically unresponsive, but the echoes became excited.

~ _she's one of them. She's idolized your visage. She knew not what was in your heart. You can make her understand. Make her understand_ ~

"Adri-kins, were you at a photoshoot? You look like such a doll!" She leapt onto him and he halted. His delicate figure remained unresponsive to her weight. She began to droop. "Adri-kins... I'm fainting..." He didn't move, glassy eyes staring straight ahead. She started to slide, unable to hold her own weight. "What's wrong with you?" She was weeping.

Sabrina caught Chloe who sobbed heavily and suddenly, panic painting itself over her face, eyes darting to Simulacrum in confusion at his lack of urgency. He started to walk again.

Sabrina challenged him. She reached for his leg, from where she was cradling Chloe on the ground. "Help her!" She demanded, but the strength of her voice shattered at her second syllable. "Help..." her hand drooped. She blinked blankly at him, tears slipping silently before slumping over Chloe.

Absentmindedly he traced his finger across a tree trunk in front of a fashion boutique as he passed.

There were instances that he was disappointed by his father, or frustrated by the absence of his mother, or when he was startled by loneliness, and wished he could break something.

He was at the end of the street when he heard wood creak and glass shatter, followed by the sound of screaming. He permitted himself to find satisfaction in his new power.

The echoes guided him, accompanied him. He wasn't alone for once, hearing his emotions given voice, resounding within him like moths in the attic.

~ _Mama, where are you. Mama, how are you. Mama, do you exist in this world anymore. Mama... why_ ~

~ _Papa, we will settle this. You will understand. I can make you understand_ ~

The echoes considered his peers, but gave names to none. The echoes considered his peers' ignorance, and called none of them friends. They were faces, as tangible as spirits. They were considered, but given no voice.

~ _No one understands. I can make them understand_ ~

Dried leaves lining the path withered to black at his presence. On either side of the walkway rose stone tombs. The algae that painted the creases of stone in green and yellow darkened to coal, the stone chipped in sheets.

~ _Mama, are you here. I missed you. I tried not to think off what may have happened, but it tears me up to fear that you might have_ ~ a fissure formed across his cheek and the echo ceased.

A padded tap sounded some paces behind him. "A- Adrien?" His name caught in her voice.

~ _Who?_ ~

"I am not Adrien." He turned slowly to face her, but his gaze looked past her. "I am Simulacrum."

"No." Was that pain in her voice? "This isn't you..."

"Exactly." Ladybug's face had enough expression for the both of them. Her eyes were wide with the confusion he lacked. "I am the visage. I am the shell. I am the idol on the billboards, I am the model my father wanted me to be. I am his brand, made manifest."

"Adrien, you're more than that-"

"I am the echo of the boy." She was visibly choking on her tears. "I am the pain he denied himself. I am his reprieve. I am not Adrien."

"I know you're in there, Adrien!"

He extended his hand to her. His fingers were wooden, hinged at the knuckles like a puppet. "Come and find him, Ladybug."

She couldn't budge. "I... I can't fight you Adrien. I won't."

In his extended hand manifested a rapier. "Then don't. Give me your earrings. I need them..."

~ _I need them. I need them. I need to understand. Papa needs them. I need to understand why my father needs them_ ~

"Adrien, there's another way..." She focused back on her task, eyes darting over him. "The scarf..."

"The lie." A fissure darted across his forehead. "He lied about that, too." He had a flashback to the last conversation with his father, his father's blank response to the scarf Adrien wore in deluded appreciation.

 _Focus_. Papillon's instruction called him back to his task.

"The earrings..."

"You of all people know I can't do that. In your last moment of lucidity you sheltered your own miraculous. I know who you are now, Chat Noir."

His eyes widened slightly at first, but a spider web of fractures radiated from them and his expression immediately relaxed back to a blank gaze. "You know nothing. But I can help you understand..."

She interpreted an insidious intention in his words. "I want to understand, Adrien, but not like this."

He stepped forward. "It's your fault. You chose secrecy over support. You could have been there for me. We could have been there for each other, but you treasured your distance. Everyone's so distant. We could have been there for each other, like real partners. You could have prevented this. If you had just told me who you are. This double life is so isolating, don't you feel that?"

"I'm so sorry Adrien, I didn't know-"

"So you didn't feel loneliness eat away at you from inside? I can make you understand." He lunged at her. She made fancy work of her yoyo in strictly defensive maneuvers. Adrien was always so good at fencing.

"Don't do this Adrien. I know it now, I can be there for you. I'm your partner. I'm your friend. I can be your confidant. I want to be there for you."

"It's too late, Ladybug." He continued to lunge, his form seemingly drifting through the material plane, out of place like a hologram. He was hard to anticipate, the way his body moved was unnatural, jerking slightly like a puppet. His scarf flowed in rhythm with his actions and not the direction of the wind. She dove between the tombstones for shelter, but no longer had room to swing her weapon.

"It isn't, Adrien. You can end this. You can come back to me. Please come back to me. I love you."

He halted. His porcelain mouth shattered, the pieces suspended in shadow over his face. "Your love will be the end of me, Ladybug." Swiftly he lunged, the wind from the blade kissing her cheek. Her eyes widened at the bubbling smoke clinging to the blade, tinged with the purple of nightshade. It wasn't cataclysm, it was stealthier. It was a slow rot, it was decay. It was the sickness conceived from bottled emotion. She did a backflip to give herself distance, and then leapt on top off a tombstone for perspective. Simulacrum leapt up to higher ground also, but his landing was a slow drift.

~ _Make her understand_ ~

He darted across the tombstones, closing the space between them. Another rapier manifested in his other hand. He was swift as a raven, the scarf whipping behind him. It was obvious through his agility that he must be Chat Noir, or at least had been. She mourned her friend in that instant. Though they knew nothing of each other, ever since their first battle together they trusted each other as if they'd known each other forever. That was why she didn't feel the isolation Simulacrum described. She thought she was fighting alongside her best friend, of sorts. Even when her instructions seemed damning, even when it seemed like they were losing, Chat would trust her completely. He always had her blindside, throwing himself between her and the danger she didn't perceive. He saved her countless times. Could Chat Noir have been hiding this sense of betrayal all along, or was this a fabrication belonging to Papillon?

Just as Simulacrum leapt to close the gap between them, she dove below him and threw her yoyo to a nearby rooftop and sped off. Simulacrum was far too quick for her to think around his blade, and she knew her heart was slowing her down. His shell was distractingly frail, crackling under the pressure of his emotions. She couldn't focus on dodging when she wondered what emotion created each fissure, wondering if they were the scars of Adrien trying to break through, if shattering the shell would reveal the boy she loved or if it would destroy him instead.

When she thought she had a moment she cast her yoyo to the sky. "Lucky charm!" With her yoyo came down a pair of scissors, iconically red with black polka dots. Her hobby taught her to immediately recognize that these were fabric scissors. She looked around. Nothing on the rooftops caught her eye, but she noticed in a lot where a carnival was being packed away for the night. It might take a few minutes just to get over there. Once she was there she would have to finish this quickly before the transformation wore off. She looked around the chimney.

Simulacrum extended his arms out to either side, and obediently the scarf whipped up around him, looping into the resemblance of butterfly wings. Though his glassy eyes didn't seem to fixate on her, she knew she was spotted and took advantage of it, luring him as she parcoured her way to the carnival.

When she approached, she was discouraged to find workers still present, packing away the entertainment. "This is an akuma emergency, please evacuate!" After all this time she had enough of a reputation that everyone obediently abandoned their task to head indoors. She darted for the hall of mirrors. When she'd glanced back the scarf had fallen out of shape, cascading around Simulacrum in a surreal breeze. His rapiers remained poised at his sides, and he stepped pointedly and stealthily toward her.

She turned back to the task at hand, sheltering herself until the most opportune time. She pressed a spot on her yoyo to light a laser pointer, which she directed ahead of herself. The laser bounced across the many surfaces, and she angled it to reveal the direction of the hall. Though she secured shelter, she felt vulnerable to see her reflection surrounding herself. She used the mirror to watch for Simulacrum's entrance. She was terrified to hear rather than see him.

"Ladybug," he called out to her. She heard him. If she looked, she could see him. But he cast no reflection. As he stated before, he was something like a phantom of Adrien, a ghost of the real thing.

Once he was fully inside, she spoke up. "You were right," she called to him, sidestepping from behind a mirror. The room was filled with red, two dozen Ladybugs fully in view, surrounding the lone akumatized victim. Her earring beeped in warning again. "I idolized Adrien. He's handsome. He's kind. He's perfect. I never thought he would fall victim to Papillon, he's too good hearted. I had no idea of the pain he hid."

Simulacrum was still as a mannequin, ethereal movement from the scarf and deathly vapor bubbling off his weapons. "But Chat Noir... Chat and I were a team. Ladybug is nothing without Chat."

"Chat Noir was your shadow. He got in the way. More than once."

"No. Chat had my back. If he failed, it was because I failed him. I'm sorry for that."

"You're not sorry enough yet." He leapt forward, rapier extended. Her reflections ducked and spun around the room. He swung, rapier slicing across the surface of Ladybug's image. The glass crumbled slowly, dissolving in dust, slowly shattering progressively even after the blade left the surface like a frozen lake giving way.

She called out to him. "You trusted me as Chat! Trust me now!" Her voice reverberated around the room, the source disguised just as her true image was cloaked by copies.

"I don't even know who you are!" For the first time his voice was projected by emotion. Pain, betrayal, anger called at her through his voice. The creases around his mouth deepened, webbing back to his ears. His delicate figure folded over at a cloaked hinge like a puppet hanging on threads.

"I'm sorry Adrien, I cannot give Papillon that satisfaction."

More cracks danced across his forehead. "... He already knows." Her heart sank. She was suddenly sickened with dread. "He knows, and still you remain a mystery to me." ~ _I'm alone_ ~

"Papillon... who is she?"

 _Take her miraculous and find out._

 _Allow me to remind you. Your father needs the miraculous. With it, you can learn what happened to your mother. With it you can learn the identity of the girl who oppressed you, who refused to give you the love you hungered for._

"Papillon... did you do something to my mother?"

 _No. And you know within yourself that is the truth._

"I need to know, Ladybug." He straightened back, and the rapier in his right hand dissolved back into his hand, which was now shrouded in opaque vapor.

"Then come take it." In her voice he recognized the inflections of her command to Chat Noir. She did not speak to him as an enemy, or a victim. She spoke to him as her equal, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. He stepped forward. All the Ladybugs stepped forward. He dove at her. Vapor trailed after his extended hand, his rapier poised for good measure. She charged at him, reaching back for something on her strap. He didn't care. She could do as she pleased to him, but he needed her miraculous. He had to know.

From behind her back was revealed a pair of shiny, red and black scissors. His hand stopped short of her ear, wooden fingers curling against the shattering glass.

Snip.

The soft knit fabric descended like a feather before dark bubbles surfaced from its essence.

He collapsed among the shards. He failed. His mother, his father, the girl he loved, they would all remain a mystery to him.

"That's enough evil doing for you."

He felt Papillon's frustration as his own, reverberating through his hollow core.

"I free you from evil!"

The echoes fluttered in frenzy within him. He smelled soot.

"Gotcha!"

Bye bye, Mama. Bye bye, Papa...

"Bye bye, petite papillon!"

•••

 _Ladybug, you may appear to have created peace once more, but you have endangered Adrien's heart._

 _I gave Adrien reprieve from the pain of isolation and secrecy. You may have delayed his involvement in my plans, but you have not prevented it._

•••

Adrien's vision was clouded in opaque black and purple smoke. It cleared, and he glanced ahead. He faced his reflection. Ladybug was behind him, looking at him... what was that expression supposed to mean?

"Adrien..."

"Ladybug? What are we..." She fell to her knees beside him and embraced him. "... doing here?" His thoughts halted. He could feel her heart beating in her chest pressed to his, he could smell her hair. Her body was shuddering against his. "Ladybug?"

"I'm so sorry, Adrien!" There was something about hearing her say his name. Was she crying?

"What? What would you have to be sorry for?" He was distracted by her proximity. Was he blushing? He was aware in that instant that his face was indeed very warm. It did not cool when she cupped his face in her hands. His color probably matched her suit.

"You needed me, and I wasn't there for you. I should have been there for my partner, but I was so dependent on you. You're so dependable."

"Um, what...?"

"Oh, I…" she retracted her hands. "I know you... Plagg, he..."

He rubbed his fingers together. His ring... She saw the panic and responded quickly. "It's okay, I have it."

"Ladybug, I..." He had waited so long for this moment. He had thought of all the things he wanted to tell her when this moment came, when he could finally reveal his identity to her, but now his mind was blank.

"Adrien..." She traced her fingers along the scarf. She didn't have the courage to look him in the eyes as she said it, but it must be said. "I love you."

His expression was that of shock, and then the joy of a boy who got exactly what he yearned for, and then sorrow once more. What did it matter that she reciprocated his feelings if her identity was still withheld from him?

"You need your ring. It's... in my purse..." She mustered her courage with a deep breath. Beeping ensued as her time was finally up. Pink light flashed.

"Ma... Marinette!"

She reached in her purse and Plagg drifted out, cradling the ring. He plopped it into Adrien's open palm. "Good to have you back, kid."

"Plagg." He spoke with gratitude. He couldn't imagine being without Plagg. He donned the ring immediately, and still stupefied looked back at his partner. "Marinette..." all his planned speeches refused to surface from his memory. Instead he embraced her. "I've found you, my lady."


End file.
